Author: Elisa Uhrynowski

There is a Season for Everything

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

It has been not the best of years so far for our family. We said goodbye to my mother-in-law in April after a short battle with pancreatic cancer. When we found out October 2024 that my mother-in-law had pancreatic cancer and her time was limited, we were devastated. She was a rock to our family. She was always there for us, especially when we started our own family. I couldn’t have gotten through much of it without her love and support. There is definitely a hole in our family that will never be completely filled.

The month of August wasn’t much better. My mother was hospitalized for dehydration and low potassium, among other things. She’s been home and has made a miraculous turnaround, thank the Lord. That same weekend my mom went to the hospital, my husband’s good friend was in a freak accident. The whole thing could have gone very badly. Thankfully, he has been recovering and healing well. Despite that, the incident was extremely stressful for my husband.

Just the other day, my father was hospitalized for a head injury after a fall. He seems ok, though he did sustain a concussion and needs to rest and recover. And if all this bad news isn’t enough, our cat has gone missing and most likely is gone for good.

How much emotional stress can a person handle? It seems I’ve been on a perpetual road race with no pit stops. We didn’t take a vacation this year. In fact it’s been 3 years since our last week-long vacation. It’s just been go, go, go. Even Lightning McQueen learned that it was ok to refuel. (I hope you all can remember the famous racing car from Disney/Pixar’s Cars movie.)

I am reminded this is a perfect time to lean into my faith and God more than ever. We are not capable of handling all this stress alone. Just as Lightning McQueen had his pit crew to help him, I have my own pit crew with God. With prayer, I can ask for what I need. I can listen to what I need to hear. But how do I start?

I need to go back to basics: Breathe. Meditate. Be. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? To purposely take slow and deep breaths. To sit in silence and just be. With summer coming to an end, it seems to be the perfect time to embrace a slower, quieter time. It is during those quiet moments that God is present. We are more apt to hear His whispers. We can feel His comfort and trust in Him. It is during this quiet time, the healing can begin.

Solar-Powered Spirit: The Connection Between the Sun and My Faith

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” –Psalm 84:11

For thousands of years, many cultures have seen the sun as a god or a higher power. It’s not surprising because the sun was mysterious. It would appear and reappear each day, providing light and warmth. Across the world, people honored and worshipped the sun because it represented life and power. Some would even go so far as to make sacrifices to ensure the sun would rise each day.

Sounds a little out there, doesn’t it? Imagine living without the sun, where the days are consistently dark and cold. Picture when the ancients experienced a solar eclipse for the first time. They probably were frightened. Their sole source of energy and life just disappeared. It only makes sense how cultures defined their beliefs in the sun and its power.

Time to Observe

Back in the Covid days, I tapped into my artistic side and started drawing, painting and even dabbled in some photography. For some reason, I would wake up super early each day before the sun rose. I’m not quite sure how I came to the decision to start watching sunrises, but that’s what I did, almost every day. At first I drove to a neighborhood where I thought would be the best view to take pictures of the sunrise. Later, I decided to drive to the beach. I would take walks on the boardwalk and watch as the sun peeked above the horizon. I was so taken by the beauty of the sun rising in the early morning hours. It became a standard routine to wake up early, grab my camera and then drive the 25 minutes to the beach for my sunrise walk.

I loved watching and listening to the birds sing. I observed how the water moved along the shore. I appreciated all the little things that most of us probably overlooked on a regular basis. It was a time for me to admire, reflect and be present.

taken May 2021, Milford CT

S.A.D

I was talking to friends at church about how I believe I have S.A.D., otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. In a somewhat jest full way, one of my friends pointed out that we are solar-powered. I never realized how much the sun affected me. It’s not just the fact that it makes the day bright and warm, but it energizes me like nothing else. My mood changes immediately when the sun comes out and shows its happy face. On the other hand, if it’s hidden, and clouds are taking over, I am grumpy and irritable. The other day, it was a really cold, windy, and rainy day…not to mention it was Monday. When I arrived at work to start my day, I found that my mood was pretty lousy and it only got worse as the day progressed. I couldn’t shake it. At the end of the day, I went home and put on my pjs and crashed on my bed. I wanted the day to be over! Funny thing is that the following day, the sun was out in its glory, and so was my happy-go-lucky self!

The sun has the ability to bring out the best in me. I smile more and I feel lighter in my spirit. It has occurred to me there is a correlation to the sun and God. When He isn’t present, our days are dreary and our moods are gloomy. But when He is front and center, we feel lifted and energized. We know we can accomplish anything because He is by our side. Like the sun gives us warmth and nurturing, God provides us with the truth of His word to get us through the day.

Nature’s Alarm Clock

On my many walks on the beach, I noticed how nature would stir and wake up as the sun would rise. From the gentle songs the birds sing, to the rolling waves of water kissing the sand on the shore, the sun is nature’s alarm clock to say it’s time to start the new day! Life cannot exist without the sun. And so it is with God. He is our life force…our alarm clock. He reminds us each day, if we pay attention, we are loved. He helps us by providing comfort and stability. And just as the sun provides light to our world, so does God, who gives us light and steers us away from darkness.

Yes. I am solar-powered, but by the son, the father and the holy spirit. My positive energy comes from my faith and love of nature, the precious gifts that God has provided me.

These are just a few pictures I took during my time watching sunrises during the Covid pandemic. Each time I visited, I found something new to appreciate.

Tell me in the comments how the sun energizes you and how your faith plays a role in your day.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

“Close friends are truly life’s treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide and support us, to share our laughter and our tears. Their presence reminds us that we are never really alone.”

Vincent van Gogh

For as long as I remember, I’ve had many friends in my life. One of the earliest friendships I remember was from when I was 4 or 5 and my best friend lived across the street. When I moved out of state a few years later, we stayed pen pal friends for quite a long time and today, we are still friends on Facebook. We may not chat much now, but it’s pretty cool to know we have that life long connection.

I honestly can’t recall a time when I wasn’t without a friend or two. I don’t think I can even determine if I ever felt lonely, especially being an only child, because my friends have been there for me in one way or another. From childhood friends and throughout college and work, I have made some great friendships along the way, each one providing me with a gift I treasure always.

Some of my closest friends have been those that have been a part of my life since having my own family. As a parent with kids in activities, it’s almost inevitable that you are going to make some friends. If you’re lucky, you become close and you get to share in each other’s milestones, the heartaches, the accomplishments and challenges of life, all of it with immense love, laughter and compassion. I can proudly attest that I have those kinds of friends.

A place I wasn’t necessarily expecting to build such close friendships has been at church. When my kids were attending Susanna Wesley School, the pastor was hosting a meet and greet coffee time at drop off and I decided to join. I learned he was a dad with two kids, one who was also attending the preschool like mine! To connect with a pastor who not only was my contemporary, but could relate to all the things a parent with young children experience was fantastic. He approached me at the right moment because it was at a time in my life that I was seeking a spiritual connection. Pastor Tim had a great way of telling a story at the pulpit. I thoroughly enjoyed his sermons. I attended regularly and became a member about year later. During his time at HUMC, I met other families and people who became my friends. The relationships from church have been some of the most important ones in my life. There is a tremendous amount of trust and love.

They say it takes a village to raise a family. I’ll take it a step further and say it takes a village to survive life. Without the support of friends and family, how do we cope with all the things that we experience in life without being able to share and lean on others? I certainly wouldn’t be able to get through life without my friends. They are my family.

In one of my favorite movies, “It’s A Wonderful Life”, a character named Clarence wrote to Jimmy Stewart’s character at the end of the movie the following:

Clarence wrote this to George in “It’s a Wonderful Life”

I love this so much. It always makes me cry because I realize that despite the pitfalls of life, one thing has always remained constant…my friends. In all stages and seasons of my life, I am so grateful to have those I can lean on their shoulders or share a good laugh because we all get by with a little help from our friends.

YouTube video of Joe Cocker, “I Get By with a Little Help From My Friends”

John 15:13

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13

Who Needs an Emotional Support Chicken?

Emotional Support What???

If you’re on Tik Tok, Instagram, Facebook or YouTube, you most likely have come across the latest craze in the fiber arts/crafting world…the emotional support chicken! What?? When I first saw this, it was actually through a Local Yarn Shop (LYS) I follow and saw they had a class on how to make your own Emotional Support Chicken.

I was curious as to the connection of “emotional support” and a chicken. Maybe I’ve been living under a rock or something. I read somewhere that people started keeping real chickens as emotional support animals 1during the pandemic. I can see that. In fact, my husband and I have had backyard chickens for about a decade. I see the benefits. But do people really want to make their very own stuffed toy chicken? Certainly there are other cuddly creatures that could lend their emotional support? I’ve seen “positive potatoes” and other similar cutesy things. I suppose if you can’t have real pets or animals, a stuffed toy can be the next best thing!

About a year ago, I started to learn how to knit. I had tried crocheting years ago when my mother-in-law tried to teach me, but back then, it seems my patience and understanding of that craft wasn’t there and so I gave up. I carried on my way doing other crafty and artsy things like drawing, painting, needle felting, sewing…the list goes on (IYKYK.) The one yarn craft I hadn’t tried was knitting. It always seemed complicated and if I couldn’t crochet, how could I knit? Fast forward to 2023. I went on Facebook Marketplace to look for used knitting needles and yarn and started going on YouTube to learn the basics. I also took a couple classes with someone I knew to help me get the technique down.

I explored different projects to make, like scarves, hats, blankets, coasters, etc. As I kept trying different projects and immersing myself into the plethora of videos and tutorials out there, I discovered I really enjoyed this new hobby. A new world of creativity opened up for me and I was excited to learn and try all I could get my hands on to become an expert (ok, maybe not exactly an expert.)

During my knitting discovery, I also started a new job. It was the first one in over a year and I was excited, but also nervous because I had not been in the workforce in awhile. It took some time for me to adjust and there were days where I thought I made a mistake or I felt completely lost. It was tiring and also somewhat stressful. I needed time to adjust and be in work mode. Thankfully, I began as a part-time employee for a few months and transitioned to full-time later in the fall.

I noticed the creative part of me was waning. I was still making little projects, but I felt unbalanced. It made me sad and kind of grumpy, too. Work was the priority and any spare time I had was spent basically plopping in front of the TV and then I’d fall asleep. There wasn’t much time to create and play. Welcome to the real world, Elisa!!!

As I settled and got into more of a routine, I started exploring more in the knitting world. I have become quite a YouTube fanatic and follow many creators who have been inspirational and helpful with my knitting journey. If I had the confidence several months ago, I would have tried making one of those chickens earlier for obvious reasons. We spend a majority of our time at work earning a living to support our families, only to come home to chores before we can get a chance to relax and maybe watch re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond or day dream of a vacation home you see others buying on HGTV.

Luckily, knitting and crocheting is a craft I can do while I’m relaxing. It’s portable, too! I bring my project bag with me everyday, with the hopes I can grab a few moments during lunch to knit or crochet. I have brought my knitting on road trips, breweries and even when I know there will be a long wait at an appointment. This particular hobby suits me just fine!

Toys seem to be my favorite type of project. Perhaps because they are cute, soft, or whimsical. Or maybe because they remind me of my childhood and my favorite stuffed animal dog, Pappy, who currently resides in my son’s room. Little loveys, softies, stuffed toys, amigurumi, whatever you want to call them, seem to bring out the best of us, too. They comfort us. They make us feel secure or safe. They remind of us of happier times when life wasn’t so chaotic…when we didn’t have to “adult”. I found a blog post by www.bunniesbythebay.com that describes all about the benefits of having a stuffed animal for emotional support. They aren’t just for kids!

Life is challenging. Managing our emotions can be difficult. Sometimes we need a little help from someone (or some thing.) The fact I can make my own now taps into my creative side, too. At the end of making that little softie, I will have my very own emotional support buddy made by me! I can just look at it, smile and feel all those good feelings a stuffed animal can bring out in all of us. Why not make it a chicken?

A few of the softies I’ve made

Knitted bunny I made for Easter
Knitted dinosaur for my 3 year old niece
Emotional Support Pickle I crocheted for a friend
Pappy, my childhood buddy
Sammy Squirrel, my husband’s lovey, hanging out with Pappy
Cuddly stuffed dog my mother gave me that I keep with me at night
  • Pattern for knitted beginner bunny by Claire Garland
  • Bronty dinosaur pattern by fluffandfuzz found on Etsy
  • Pickle Buddy pattern by Spikey Mermaid on Ravelry

Local Yarn Shops to check out in CT

A couple of our hens going for a stroll in the yard

Did You Know?

Chickens are social animals.

They have good memories.

Chickens cluck “lullabies” to their chicks.

Find out more fascinating facts of chickens here below.

The Fact Site
  1. What are Emotional Support Animals ↩︎

Check out The Knitting Tree, L.A. to get your own Emotional Support Chicken Kit

Fishes, Loaves and Pierogi

Food brings people together on many different levels. It’s nourishment of the soul and body; it’s truly love.

Giada De Laurentiis

When I was approached by my friend at church about wanting to make pierogi, I was totally on board. Food? Check. Getting together with friends? Double check. My creative brain started thinking of how we can get others involved at our church, too. We originally thought let’s open this to the congregation and whoever is interested will come. Remember the movie with Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams? Build it and they will come. Well, that was our thought as well. We will open the opportunity to get together after church services and make something with our own hands. We can turn it into a prayerful fellowship! Or perhaps we can serve them during our Palm Sunday celebration to everyone! The ideas just kept flowing. The question was, can a handful of willing people make this a success?

The answer is, of course we can! In fact, the ironic part of this whole endeavor is that none of us are of Polish descent, where pierogi are a staple food. In fact, some of us are German, Italian, Swedish and Colombian. What do you end up with all those backgrounds coming together to make a dish most of us have enjoyed in one way or another? The results are quite amazing, frankly. We all brought our talents and gifts together and made some fantastic little pockets of yumminess! We worked as a team. We laughed and joked around. We experimented with different methods that worked for us and we really had a wonderful time in the process.

Food. Fellowship. Faith. We started out with the the focus to make a bunch of pierogi and share them, but our end results are so much more than a delicious little treat. We continue to build our personal bonds with one another and we learned some new skills along the way. The biggest reward is knowing that God has played an important part in orchestrating our fellowship.

During one of the church services this month, one of our lay leaders spoke about the Fishes and Loaves and shared an interesting take on how artists have depicted this most popular story and sign of Jesus during his ministry. As I was listening to him speak, it occurred to me that our little pierogi venture started out small, just like the five loaves and fishes, and blossomed into so much more. We kept setting goals, changing our direction and determining what we could do with our new found gift of pierogi making.

We decided not only to sell them to the congregation, but to utilize the money we made to purchase something for our bell choir. This small idea from a friend who said, “Elisa, do you want to get together and make pierogi?” grew into an actual fundraiser! Who would have thought a simple idea could become a tremendous blessing!

By the way, that lay leader I mentioned really is the pivotal force behind this whole thing, whether he realizes it or not. He had shared a picture of a dish of pierogi when he was traveling to Poland earlier in the year to my friend and that’s when she decided she wanted to try making them.

We are still in the midst of making and selling, so I can’t share what our final outcome has been just yet. But, if I may speculate, I have a good feeling that we will reach our goal and be able to purchase what we need in order to make our bell choir space even better. And not only that, our little pierogi making crew has also grown together even more and we have all come out of this with happier hearts as a result.

After being part of this experience, I can see why food can be the one thing that brings many together, but it is our willingness to open our hearts and minds to receive a greater gift…love, fellowship and faith. And maybe add some pierogi, too. 😉

Do you have a story to share how food and fellowship brings you closer to your faith and family? Please leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you!

All Good Things Come to an End…Or Do They?

You know the saying, “All good things come to an end?” That phrase probably couldn’t be more true than right now with my oldest son graduating high school this week!

His high school years were a bit different than what we expected them to be given half of his years were overshadowed by the world pandemic that began in 2020. As a freshman, it was an exciting time and my son was ready to take on high school sports. He did play in the freshman basketball team during the winter season and seemed he liked it. He had been playing recreational basketball since he was in 3rd or 4th grade. His favorite sport was baseball. Unfortunately, he never had the chance to play on the freshman team because of Covid.

Fast forward to 2023. My son decided not to play on the high school basketball team, and chose not to play on the varsity baseball team, either. It seems the excitement of playing sports in high school dissipated for him and he wanted to pursue different things.

Little by little, I’ve noticed that all the things he did as a youth, he was letting go, or saying goodbye to them. Of course, he may have been completely fine with it, but for me, I was sad. I spent so many nights and weekends in all kinds of weather watching as my kid played baseball and basketball. I loved watching him and his teammates do something they enjoyed. I liked seeing the comradery among his friends on the team. I enjoyed the social time with the families.

Was this time I spent for my son or was it for me? If I must be honest, I have to say probably both. He entered high school and then the pandemic put a halt to practically everything. For his senior year he chose not do anything extracurricular; I not only was disappointed for him, but for myself. At first I would say, “…but you’re missing out! don’t you want to be part of a team? don’t you want to participate in activities with friends?” The answer was no. He was fine with his choices and I needed to be fine with it too.

My son has grown up. He’s making his own decisions and establishing his own path, at his own pace. In all practical purposes, he should! He is 18 and ready to move on to the next stage of life. Goodbye high school…hello world! He has decided to go to college after high school graduation, so that is a big step! Luckily, he won’t be far…but far enough that he won’t be coming home to eat dinner and play video games to his heart’s content.

This is not only a big change for my son, but it is certainly a big change for me. I’m used to how things are and I am happy to know both my children live home and, for the most part, I know where they are, what they may be doing and most importantly, are sleeping in their bed here at home. There is a comfort in knowing your children are near by and safe.

I’ve spent the last 19 years of my life nurturing and caring for my boy… teaching him, guiding him, and encouraging him to try new things. If you’re a mom reading this, you know how much we put in…not only our physical time and effort, but our emotional selves, too. And that’s the part that is most challenging.

Our hearts and souls are poured into our children with the hopes they grow up to be happy and healthy individuals. And right now, all that work will be tested as my son embarks onto the new adventure of his life. All I can do is pray and hope I did what I could and that all those lessons over the years will resonate with him.

When move-in day happens in about 2 1/2 months from now, I think the reality will hit me that my kid, my first-born son, will not be home that night, but living with a roommate at college. Until then, I will relish the time this summer to enjoy the little moments, which tend to be fewer than before. He is older, has a social life and doesn’t necessarily want to hang out with his mother. That’s ok. Even if he sits down with me to talk about the latest workout regime he’s doing, I will listen intently as if he is giving a lecture in front of an audience. It will be those small moments that I will remember later…that will make me feel satisfied that I did my best and that it’s ok to say goodbye to my little boy and welcome the young man he is today.

Yes, good things do end, but good things also begin, too. Life is cyclical. Life is ever changing and evolving. New adventures await us all. Even though some of the best years of my life are ending with my son grown up, there is something else to look forward to, as well. The future isn’t set! It is actually an exciting time for my son and all his friends right now. I need to put aside my emotions for a moment and see the future in his eyes. And when I do that, I am astonished beyond words of how proud I feel to see what’s in store for him next. And that certainly brings some comfort and makes me smile.

My son, Luke, and me, holding on tight. Photo credit: Victoria Lee Photography

Taking it in Stride

This is the week for all us last-minute shoppers who are braving the stores and coming to grips with the “leftovers” and gift cards we will have to give to our loved ones.

For the most part, I have been taking this holiday season in stride, despite being busy with life. It’s been a nice change for me in some ways…just accepting what I can and cannot do, both on the physical and mental levels. I’m not stressing over some things like I used to…do I want to do it all? Kind of. But I also understand it’s just not necessary. I believe setting realistic expectations of myself has been helpful. I don’t have those anxious feelings and I hope the energy I exude is a combination of happiness and calming peace.

I am not saying that things have not been challenging or emotional. Ask anyone…I can get pretty emotional and easily cry. Yet, the last couple weeks, I actually feel okay. I am taking things as they come and if I do more than I planned for the day, then it’s a bonus.

Last week, I hosted a Christmas party with good friends of ours. I planned a simple menu of a couple different chilies and ordered some stuffed breads. My friends brought over some appetizers and desserts. It was perfect, in my opinion. And the whole time, I didn’t get upset or stressed as I was making the food or setting up the spaces to eat. I did what I could and it was enough.

Which leads me to this thought: it is completely acceptable to be imperfect and know when to say “it is fine. It is enough.” Don’t get me wrong. I do put expectations upon myself to have things “just so”…especially when I create. But if I spent my energy always concerned with all aspects of my day as needing to be perfect and “just so”, then I would be exhausted. My mind would be overwhelmed and I would probably be pretty irritable, too. I don’t think my family would want that! Neither do I.

I am grateful I have been more in control of my emotions and overall mental well-being this month. It’s a nice change of pace. It actually feels natural…more normal. And what better way to end the old year and start the new by simply taking things in stride?

How have you spent this holiday season? Have you enjoyed the little moments? Share your thoughts here. I’d love to hear from you.

I love simplicity

Progress, Not Perfection

Progress, not Perfection. I just heard this phrase after listening to a workshop on Zoom held by my local library on nutrition. Although I knew most of the information that was shared, I think it’s helpful to remind myself of the basics of nutrition and healthy eating. Since beginning this new journey, I find myself more interested in how I can be healthier, not only with my weight, but the actual nutrition I consume.

Habits are certainly challenging. I honestly had some doubts whether I could kick some of my poor eating habits. I believe I have gotten over the first 21 days of establishing new habits I can incorporate into my life and not feel deprived or sad, or whatever negative feeling I thought I would.

Progress, Not Perfection.

It’s all about moderation, balance and consistency. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Without over analyzing this, it actually is. No need to over complicate this. Perhaps being home and not working at the moment has helped, too. I have the time now to plan and prepare. I don’t feel the need to eat out as much. Or when I do, I am mindful of the choices I make. The small modifications I have made so far in my eating habits have made a difference. I am currently down 10.2 pounds total and that’s in a seven week time frame. And even though I have a long road ahead to reaching my ultimate goal, I am more confident then ever that I will achieve it.

Again, it’s Progress, Not Perfection.

A positive mindset and attitude are really important. As with any life altering change, believing in yourself and being confident you can achieve success helps maintain the momentum. Sure, you’ll feel down and out at times, but that’s when you have to remain steadfast and not stay in that space too long. You may not realize the small changes are the building blocks to the end goal. Keeping those positive thoughts a constant will help you navigate the days when you feel discouraged.

Remember….Progress, Not Perfection.

I enjoy researching topics and since my health has become my number one priority, I like finding new websites and resources that educate me in the world of health; specifically how nutrition plays a vital role in a successful journey of weight loss. In addition, I have become more interested in my direct relationship with the environment and how I can incorporate my health goals and the environment. My son has been taking an AP Environmental Science class in high school and he brought home the book, “Cool Cuisine. Taking the Bite Out of Global Warming” by Laura Stec. It has sparked an interest in learning more how I can make a difference while eating healthy.

Progress, Not Perfection.

Slowly I am establishing a set of tools to help me continue on my trek to lose weight and be healthy. These tools and resources are now in my back pocket and I can turn to them when I might feel stuck or in a rut. Websites, blogs, YouTube videos, Instagram and the library are a few ways I can keep learning and growing.

It’s all about Progress, Not Perfection.

Before I end this post, I’d like to share a recipe I enjoyed that I got from The Girl on Bloor from Toronto, Canada. Her blog and YouTube channel have been very helpful and I think you’ll like her easy and manageable approach to eating healthy. I love portobello mushrooms and pizza. This recipe combines both into a healthier and still satisfying alternative to the carb heavy pizza most of us adore!

Easy Pizza Portobello Stuffed Mushrooms {Low-Carb}

What have you done that has been a success for you in your journey to a better you? Please share your comments here. Let’s get the conversation started!

Road Blocks, Rocks and Rivers

They say when faced with many challenges, the ones that prevail come out stronger. I am not so sure how much stronger I can be. At this point, I should be Ms. Universe of Strength, if that’s a thing!

Back in February, I mentioned about changes in my job situation and that I should embrace those changes with a positive attitude. Unfortunately, it just didn’t work out. The new owners of the practice made drastic changes that left me feeling frustrated and upset most of the time. After careful thought, I decided to leave the job in early April. I gave a 2-week notice, but was asked to leave a mere 2 days later. It wasn’t the parting I wanted and I left feeling a bit humiliated, disheartened, yet relieved. Without getting into details, it was the right decision.

It has been only about a month and a half, but it feels like a very long time since I’ve been out of work. At first, I figured I’d give myself the time to grieve, re-evaluate, and decide what my next steps would be career-wise. In addition, I was preparing to have surgery for my hip the end of April, so the timing was actually ok.

Then I encountered another road block – my surgery was canceled. The reason? I had gained 30 pounds since my consultation (less than a year prior) and the doctor would not perform the surgery.

Needless to say I was devastated. I knew I had gained some weight, but the amount I gained was astonishing. I was so angry at myself for allowing this to happen. I walked out of the office building and hurled my handbag towards the car in a rage. WTF??? How could this be?? How could I allow myself to get to this point? I have been in a lot of pain and it has only gotten worse. I am unable to sustain long periods of standing and walking is difficult. The arthritis that has caused the deterioration in my hip is pretty bad. I need the surgery!!!

Did anyone say WAKE UP CALL? I won’t say I’m completely depressed because I keep trying every day to make good choices. Yet, I am not super happy with how things are progressing, either. Ever since I received the news about the surgery, I have changed my eating habits. There are so many combination of things I have to think about to ensure I make right choices each time. I’ve spent hours looking online looking for healthy recipes that I think will work for me. So far, I’ve been doing this on my own, with no outside support from sources like professional weight loss programs.

The weight is not coming off fast enough for me. It’s a slow progress. I have probably lost about 4 pounds total in a month. Some would say that’s great. But for me, it’s not good enough. The physical limitations are affecting me even more. Now that the weather is nice, I could go outside and walk, but right now, it’s nearly impossible without pain. The most I can do is probably just do an upper body workout, which I have just come to realize will be my only way out of this dread of feeling physically useless.

And if not to add more salt to my open wounds, I am also managing my parental duties to my kids, especially my younger son, who has struggled with anxiety and depression most of his adolescent life. I spend a lot of time taking care of his needs. I don’t want to disclose too much here, but he is battling things I am not familiar with and so I leave it to the professionals to help him. I’m just there for him to love and support him as much as possible. It’s not easy because as a parent, I feel helpless. Thank goodness, though, I have found good providers.

My older son is a junior in high school and I’ve been trying to guide him, along with a tutor, to prepare for life after high school. He wants to go to college and study physical therapy or something in the health sciences. However, he has his own challenges with grades and extracurricular activities that colleges look for when considering a student for admission. As a mom, I worry about his future and that brings a whole different set of frustrations to the mix. Additionally, there are other things like elderly parents to worry about, my 20+ year marriage to maintain and just working on keeping my mind sane! HA!!

All of these road blocks/obstacles, are certainly difficult and could potentially be paralyzing. Every day I wake up hoping for something to change. But change doesn’t just happen on its own. We have to pave our pathways around those road blocks to find a new road to travel. Sure, what is ahead of us is unknown and can be very scary. But if we don’t make our own way, we’re stuck behind that obstacle holding us back.

My therapist told me of this metaphor in nature about a rock in a river…the water makes its way around it to continue moving forward. The water doesn’t stop flowing just because it ran into a rock. And it certainly doesn’t go backwards, either.

Neither should we. No matter how many obstructions get in our way, we have to keep moving or else we are stuck in our own misery. I don’t want to be stuck. I want to keep moving. I want to find my clear path of success…even if it will take longer than I hope.

As a famous musician once wrote and sang,

We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We’re all carried along
By the river of dreams

-Billy Joel

Keep Smiling and Shining

Happy February! We made it to another year and I’m so glad it is 2022! Honestly, I’m happy to be alive any day, but knowing a new year is ahead is enough to make me smile.

Living the last couple years in a pandemic has been quite the ride, hasn’t it? We have learned how to navigate this new world of living with Covid unlike anything else we knew before. From wearing masks in public to being top online communicators, we have certainly taken this way of living to benefit us so we can continue to thrive.

I’ve also learned a lot about myself, too:

  • Lots of self-reflection
  • Discovering who in my life is truly in my circle
  • Finding new hobbies or interests
  • Learning more about my ADHD
  • Meeting new people through social media
  • Appreciating nature more
  • Knowing what matters most

Despite my mental health status constantly going through ups and downs, I can see that the last couple years have not been horrible, but really a blessing! How can I not smile?

Typically during the beginning of a new year, we decide to make resolutions or goals to live a better life. This usually entails losing weight, eating healthier or maybe giving up on bad habits. All these are admirable objectives and not to downplay them, but I think there are even better intentions in order to have a positive effect:

  1. GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO BE KIND to others and not pass judgment. I know…that’s a biggie, but so important! Plus, kindness is FREE!
  2. ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES and try not to let change in circumstances bring on stress. We all can be little creatures of habit and not deal with change well. However, change can be a good thing and if we focus on the pros, we can see all the possibilities as a result of those changes!
  3. MAINTAINING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE despite our circumstances. Not only is it helpful to keeping ourselves calm, but having a positive attitude can also be an example for others to follow suit.


Through all this self discovery, I recognize that I have gifts I can share with others. I have always had many interests and been a good communicator, which is what I used as the inspiration to start this blog back in 2020. I have always possessed an artistic side and spending more time with art and photography has enabled me to share some of my passions with others. Additionally, being with people, sharing experiences, making new friends is something I’ve always enjoyed.

I have also discovered there are many people that think just like me, too! I know that may sound silly, but when you surround yourself with the same circle all the time, you miss out on so much. I’ve mentioned this a few times, but the community I met through Tik Tok has been unbelievably amazing. Not only are there people who are inspirational, but are also funny, caring, and honest. I have made some special friendships that I wouldn’t change for anything.

Let’s circle back to change for a moment. recently, I have been confronted with some changes that will make a significant impact on me. At first, upon learning of the changes, I absorbed the information and went through a bit of an assimilation process… first came shock/surprise, second was a feeling of sadness/disappointment and then finally came apprehension/anxiety. Now I’m pretty much at the acceptance stage. I cannot change what is not in my control, so once I went through these emotions, I can now feel more at peace of accepting this news.

My logical part of my brain has been outlining all the pros to this change, but my emotional side has been a bit more “vocal” and has made me wonder more about future. I know I can’t predict how things will turn out. I can, however, take a different approach and embrace the unknown. Instead of a bunch of what ifs, how about more WHAT IF???

There’s a quote from Erin Hanson that I have seen with a Winnie the Pooh drawing of him in the air holding onto a balloon that says, “What if I fall? Oh my darling, but what if you fly?” I love this quote because it says so much in a simple way. It addresses our fear of the unknown, but then quickly assures us there are grand possibilities of success if we only allow ourselves to give it a try.

I suppose my goal in life encompasses many things. I need to keep in the forefront of my thinking that with change comes opportunity. And with opportunity, we can learn and grow. That never ends, unless we stop trying. And that isn’t an option for me. I might fall or fail, but at least I am experiencing life with some wonderful rewards.

Doesn’t that just make you want to smile? GOOD! Now pass it on!

Smiling and shining on a sunny day