Progress, not Perfection. I just heard this phrase after listening to a workshop on Zoom held by my local library on nutrition. Although I knew most of the information that was shared, I think it’s helpful to remind myself of the basics of nutrition and healthy eating. Since beginning this new journey, I find myself more interested in how I can be healthier, not only with my weight, but the actual nutrition I consume.
Habits are certainly challenging. I honestly had some doubts whether I could kick some of my poor eating habits. I believe I have gotten over the first 21 days of establishing new habits I can incorporate into my life and not feel deprived or sad, or whatever negative feeling I thought I would.
Progress, Not Perfection.
It’s all about moderation, balance and consistency. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Without over analyzing this, it actually is. No need to over complicate this. Perhaps being home and not working at the moment has helped, too. I have the time now to plan and prepare. I don’t feel the need to eat out as much. Or when I do, I am mindful of the choices I make. The small modifications I have made so far in my eating habits have made a difference. I am currently down 10.2 pounds total and that’s in a seven week time frame. And even though I have a long road ahead to reaching my ultimate goal, I am more confident then ever that I will achieve it.
Again, it’s Progress, Not Perfection.
A positive mindset and attitude are really important. As with any life altering change, believing in yourself and being confident you can achieve success helps maintain the momentum. Sure, you’ll feel down and out at times, but that’s when you have to remain steadfast and not stay in that space too long. You may not realize the small changes are the building blocks to the end goal. Keeping those positive thoughts a constant will help you navigate the days when you feel discouraged.
Remember….Progress, Not Perfection.
I enjoy researching topics and since my health has become my number one priority, I like finding new websites and resources that educate me in the world of health; specifically how nutrition plays a vital role in a successful journey of weight loss. In addition, I have become more interested in my direct relationship with the environment and how I can incorporate my health goals and the environment. My son has been taking an AP Environmental Science class in high school and he brought home the book, “Cool Cuisine. Taking the Bite Out of Global Warming” by Laura Stec. It has sparked an interest in learning more how I can make a difference while eating healthy.
Progress, Not Perfection.
Slowly I am establishing a set of tools to help me continue on my trek to lose weight and be healthy. These tools and resources are now in my back pocket and I can turn to them when I might feel stuck or in a rut. Websites, blogs, YouTube videos, Instagram and the library are a few ways I can keep learning and growing.
It’s all about Progress, Not Perfection.
Before I end this post, I’d like to share a recipe I enjoyed that I got from The Girl on Bloor from Toronto, Canada. Her blog and YouTube channel have been very helpful and I think you’ll like her easy and manageable approach to eating healthy. I love portobello mushrooms and pizza. This recipe combines both into a healthier and still satisfying alternative to the carb heavy pizza most of us adore!
What have you done that has been a success for you in your journey to a better you? Please share your comments here. Let’s get the conversation started!
Happy February! We made it to another year and I’m so glad it is 2022! Honestly, I’m happy to be alive any day, but knowing a new year is ahead is enough to make me smile.
Living the last couple years in a pandemic has been quite the ride, hasn’t it? We have learned how to navigate this new world of living with Covid unlike anything else we knew before. From wearing masks in public to being top online communicators, we have certainly taken this way of living to benefit us so we can continue to thrive.
I’ve also learned a lot about myself, too:
Lots of self-reflection
Discovering who in my life is truly in my circle
Finding new hobbies or interests
Learning more about my ADHD
Meeting new people through social media
Appreciating nature more
Knowing what matters most
Despite my mental health status constantly going through ups and downs, I can see that the last couple years have not been horrible, but really a blessing! How can I not smile?
Typically during the beginning of a new year, we decide to make resolutions or goals to live a better life. This usually entails losing weight, eating healthier or maybe giving up on bad habits. All these are admirable objectives and not to downplay them, but I think there are even better intentions in order to have a positive effect:
GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO BE KIND to others and not pass judgment. I know…that’s a biggie, but so important! Plus, kindness is FREE!
ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES and try not to let change in circumstances bring on stress. We all can be little creatures of habit and not deal with change well. However, change can be a good thing and if we focus on the pros, we can see all the possibilities as a result of those changes!
MAINTAINING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE despite our circumstances. Not only is it helpful to keeping ourselves calm, but having a positive attitude can also be an example for others to follow suit.
Through all this self discovery, I recognize that I have gifts I can share with others. I have always had many interests and been a good communicator, which is what I used as the inspiration to start this blog back in 2020. I have always possessed an artistic side and spending more time with art and photography has enabled me to share some of my passions with others. Additionally, being with people, sharing experiences, making new friends is something I’ve always enjoyed.
I have also discovered there are many people that think just like me, too! I know that may sound silly, but when you surround yourself with the same circle all the time, you miss out on so much. I’ve mentioned this a few times, but the community I met through Tik Tok has been unbelievably amazing. Not only are there people who are inspirational, but are also funny, caring, and honest. I have made some special friendships that I wouldn’t change for anything.
Let’s circle back to change for a moment. recently, I have been confronted with some changes that will make a significant impact on me. At first, upon learning of the changes, I absorbed the information and went through a bit of an assimilation process… first came shock/surprise, second was a feeling of sadness/disappointment and then finally came apprehension/anxiety. Now I’m pretty much at the acceptance stage. I cannot change what is not in my control, so once I went through these emotions, I can now feel more at peace of accepting this news.
My logical part of my brain has been outlining all the pros to this change, but my emotional side has been a bit more “vocal” and has made me wonder more about future. I know I can’t predict how things will turn out. I can, however, take a different approach and embrace the unknown. Instead of a bunch of what ifs, how about more WHAT IF???
There’s a quote from Erin Hanson that I have seen with a Winnie the Pooh drawing of him in the air holding onto a balloon that says, “What if I fall? Oh my darling, but what if you fly?” I love this quote because it says so much in a simple way. It addresses our fear of the unknown, but then quickly assures us there are grand possibilities of success if we only allow ourselves to give it a try.
I suppose my goal in life encompasses many things. I need to keep in the forefront of my thinking that with change comes opportunity. And with opportunity, we can learn and grow. That never ends, unless we stop trying. And that isn’t an option for me. I might fall or fail, but at least I am experiencing life with some wonderful rewards.
Doesn’t that just make you want to smile? GOOD! Now pass it on!
It’s been awhile since I have written. In fact it has been awhile since I have done anything significant on a creative level. It’s been a very different summer than in 2020. For one, I had a lot more free time to enjoy and explore my creative outlets. I also slept less and woke practically every morning to watch the sunrise. This summer, my sleep has seemed to have fallen in a more “normal” pattern. Last year I joined Tik Tok and met some amazing people online and embraced a community of positive folks, as well as all kinds of artists. I even made videos that were fun and also videos that I shared diferent thoughts. I enjoyed interacting with so many people and even gained some friendships along the way.
This past Spring, I experienced some life events which made a big impact with practically everything I had done and felt before. My client I worked for as a caregiver for four years died and then a mere four days later, my uncle, whom I was close to, also passed away from complications due to Covid.
A month later, I took on a new job with more hours and a completely different environment. Luckily, I enjoy what I do. With that, my leisurely life sort of came to a halt this summer; a time when I should have been enjoying time taking day trips with the family or hang out with friends. Instead, I jumped into the “real” work world and am learning to adjust.
I attribute my new schedule the reason I stopped being creative. I barely draw, paint or even take photographs like I used to. I miss it but I am also somewhat drained at the end of the day. I need to find a new balance in order to go back to finding time and enjoying the things that made me feel good. Not only has the creative side of me taken a back burner, but so has my health and wellness journey, which also sort of stopped being a main focus since Spring.
With summer coming to an end and my kids going back to school, the reality of that hasn’t quite hit me. It means I won’t see my kids when I get home from work because they will be involved in after school activities. By the time they get home, they’ll be busy with homework and studying and finding their own balance from their carefree summer.
Balance. Such a simple word. Yet, it is very challenging for so many people. Balancing our schedules so as to not leave things out, yet not be overwhelmed either. Balancing the work/life thing is important. When one part of our life takes over and the other part dissipates, it causes a tip on the scales that to some, can bring on a lot of anxiety and stress. Thinking of all of this makes my ADHD brain spin.
Time management and planning will be key even more than ever. I get nervous wondering if I can do it. Time management and being organized are not my strong suits. As much as I strive to be an organized individual, I usually come up short bc it becomes extremely overwhelming and frustrating. I realize I need to take things slower and more methodically so as to not panic and stress out.
Up until recently have I really understood how my brain works. I didn’t realize, for instance that I can’t think on the fly. I have to talk out loud to get my thoughts out. Sometimes it may not make sense, but it’s my way of brainstorming and organizing the thoughts. Another thing is that it takes me a few seconds to actually understand when someone is asking me a question. I need the time to process it. Since there is somewhat of a delay, people may get impatient with me or wonder why I don’t respond immediately.
The most frustrating aspect of my condition is that I have numerous thoughts swirling in my head and most are important, but I have difficulty putting them in order to make sense so I can tackle my ongoing “list”. And because of that, I get extremely overwhelmed and emotional that it literally drains me on a physical level, too. I suppose that is why I have a history of avoiding things.
Tasks that seem so simple to others are exponentially more difficult for a person who lives with ADHD. Add mental health issues into the mix, like anxiety and depression, certainly does not help. I have to be very intenional in everything I do now because there is a lot more happening in my life that I never had to concern myself with as much as when I was younger.
I have also noticed more that I do not want to know every detail of something. Bullet points, highlights, etc. are more effective for me. For example, my husband is extremely detail oriented and a big planner/forward thinker. When there is a project in the home that has to be done and he wants to share it with me or ask for my opinions, he will give me so much info that I tune it out or I will get very upset because I just want to make a decision and not go over every detailed scenario. Once I make my mind up, I go with it and try not to look back because it already took effort for me to come up with my decision.
I have heard and read about things people with ADHD can do to minimize the anxiety and accomplish what needs to be done while still enjoying things that bring joy. That is my ultimate goal. To go back to being creative more often. It not only is fun, but it is therapeutic.
Below is a list of 7 ideas/strategies I have found most helpful for me to incorporate into my life. I hope this list can help you if you’re overwhelmed, overworked, stressed, anxious or just lost. You don’t necessarily need to have ADHD to incorporate these into your life, either.
1. MAKE A LIST. I have had a strange aversion to lists most of my life. I really can’t tell you why. However, I realize I need to make lists and write things down, especially because I am more forgetful as I’ve gotten older. I won’t say I am a master list maker (or follower), but I am working on it!
2. PLANAHEAD. Don’t wait for the last minute . Boy is this how I have lived most of my life. Perhaps in my youth it worked out ok. As I have gotten older and now have a family, doing things last minute just causes so much stress that I try very hard to do things more in advance.
3. PREPARE FOR THE WEEK. Again, this goes in the same lines as planning ahead. This one is more about meal planning. I have always been one to fly by the seat of my pants kind of person and find many times I never know what we’re having for dinner. Forget about packing lunches or even making breakfast! It’s just not good for any of us. We have been ordering out more or just not eating decent meals. And if I have to fight tooth and nail to prep the meals for the week on Sundays, I really believe I will be happier by the end of the week.
4. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Over the last year, my sleep has been sporadic. Insomnia is not healthy and can cause havoc on your body, mind, and emotional well being. We need our sleep!
5. SCHEDULE TIME FOR FUN. Sounds silly, right? Remember what I said earlier? My schedule has changed to the point where everything I enjoyed before has taken a back burner to work and tasks that need to get done. We need to make it a point to have a little fun. If you have to block out time on your calendar and treat it as an appointment, then more than likely you will do it. And try not to talk yourself out of it either!!!
6. BE INTENTIONAL. None of this will work unless we set our minds to doing it. Say it out loud. Write it down. Post stickies on your mirror. Whatever it takes to remind yourself that these things are important for your well-being, the more you will stick to it.
7. FIND YOUR SUPPORT CIRCLE. I cannot ephasize how important this is for true success. We all need that support, love and understanding. If those around us don’t get it, then tell them how you feel and explain just like I did here how your operate and what is important to you and what you need from them.
I’d love to hear your observations or suggestions on how you achieve balance and/or how you are living with ADHD. Leave your comments below. I am sure there are other things I forgot.
“My wish is that I can achieve balance without frustration and those around me have the patience to understand me.” – Elisa Uhrynowski
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In order to get a full experience of self-care, we need to address each of our Five senses of Sight, Touch, Hearing, Speech and Taste!
I’ve been spending a lot of time helping my mom, who was recently hospitalized for her mental well being. It has been a stressful time for both of us. I am an only child, so all the burden falls on me. My parents are divorced and both remarried several years ago. Unfortunately, my mother’s husband died four years ago, and ever since, I have noticed my mom has struggled to find herself again and function properly. I’m sad to say, she has lived with bi-polar disorder the majority of her adult life. As a young teen, I witnessed her go through a couple nervous breakdowns and battled alcoholism. My father traveled a lot for his job. Early on, I assumed on the role of a co-dependent. As I got older, and finally moved out of my house at 26 years of age, I started to live my life and discover who and what I wanted to be. I had fantasies of moving out west or somewhere else to spread my wings, but I just didn’t take the chance on myself. I was too concerned about my parents and didn’t want to abandon them or be that far away. It was quite the challenge because no matter what, my focus circled back to my mom.
picture of mom and me a week after she was in the hospital. Look at her smile!
Fast forward 25 years and I am married, have 2 teenagers, work part-time as a caregiver and am learning to make more time for myself. I am finding it difficult to do it all. It isn’t in my nature to put myself completely first because I want to help others around me. However, I find I desperately need to take more and more time for myself and relish being alone, enjoying simple things like watching the sun rise, or taking a walk on a trail. I love taking pictures and enjoy crafting or making art. Most of those things have fallen by the wayside. I have gotten into a horrible routine that is most likely hindering my overall health, physically and emotionally. I try so hard to do simple things, like getting a good night’s sleep, breathing, stretching, eating well, etc. But, no matter how much I try, my desire for a healthy and self-caring lifestyle is trumped by outside factors I allow to disrupt my day.
picture taken of sunrise on December 11, 2020 Milford, CT
Is it so bad that I want to take care of myself before putting the needs of others right now? I was taught, especially through my Christian faith, that selfishness is wrong. That we must think of others before we think of ourselves. However, I have also learned we have to love ourselves before we can love others. We have to take care of our well being so that we can be there for our loved ones. My mind is confused. Putting myself ahead of everyone sort of goes against my giving nature. Yet, deep inside, I know that if I continue this path of caring for others and put myself at the back-burner, I will be a miserable person. I battle my own thoughts and feelings everyday. I am exhausted. I know I cannot keep up this pace much longer.
I listened to an episode of Coffeetalk with Liquidshano1973 recently and the topic was Self-Care. It really hit home and I have to admit, I was in tears after listening to the 31 minute segment. I realized then that I haven’t fully invested in MYSELF. I always say I do things to enjoy the little things in life. I pause and breathe. I try to soak in those rays. I do try to smile and be grateful. Yet, all of these things I do is not enough! It is very hard to admit I am my worst enemy and do not completely follow my own advice. In the episode, Shane mentions some tips he found while researching the topic of self-care. He chose to highlight 7 of them, and when I reflect on these tips, I know this is something I can incorporate into my daily routine, provided that I am intentional.
I found the original website and read a total of 27 ideas of self-care. In a similar manner, I am listing a combination of what Shane highlighted in his podcast, as well as others that the author mentioned on how we can take just 5 minutes to practice self-care. Before I list these tips, I have something to share that brings this all home.
My job can be stressful at times. My client has specific needs and over the few years I have worked for her, I have slowly changed how I manage my outside life. I stopped using my favorite scents in laundry, or in the shower because of her chemical sensitivity. I also stopped wearing makeup when I go to her home, including facial lotions because I was afraid she would get ill from any scents she might pick up. For a long time, I wouldn’t dye my hair. These simple things, these ways of taking care of myself or doing things that brought a little joy, were almost completely abandoned because I wanted to do the right thing and please my client.
I realize now, I was neglecting myself. I needed to stop. I needed to put my needs ahead for a change or else I think I would explode. The other night, I decided I was going to pamper myself and enjoy a little in-home spa treatment. Wow! Can I just say, this was a much needed mini “getaway” in my home. I took the time to dye my hair, give myself a facial and even put makeup on so I could feel good! By no means was this a selfish act. It was an act of self-care! I needed to do this so that my spirits were lifted and so that I can continue to be there for everyone else, while feeling happy with me! It may seem obvious to do these kind of things, but I have been so consumed with being a caregiver, that I have forgotten to take time for me.
this is me after my little “spa” treatment
Below are a total of 10 tips that you can do to practice self-care. These are inspired or paraphrased from the website linked above. I discovered within these ideas, is something to think about, too. In order to get a full experience of self-care, we need to address each of our Five senses of Sight, Touch, Hearing, Speech and Taste! I put the sense in parenthesis.
Write down 3 things you are grateful for in your life (touch)
By writing down things you are grateful for, you are putting those thoughts directly in front of you and from pen to paper, it will resonate into your mind.
Breathe deeply
You’d be surprised how much we hold our breath throughout the day. By doing that, we are depriving ourselves of much needed oxygen and the release of toxic carbon dioxide. Plus, intentionally taking deep breaths can help relieve stress and can be calming.
Get outside (seeing)
Going on the same lines of taking deep breaths, going outside to breathe the fresh air really can be an uplifting experience. Also, observing bits of nature can relax you and even make you smile.
Drink a glass of water (taste)
Water is essential to a healthy body. We tend to not get enough water on a daily basis. Make it a habit to have a glass of water first thing in the morning so that you can awaken our body after a night’s sleep.
Eat something you enjoy (taste)
Eating something we enjoy doesn’t mean binge eating. It can be as simple of having a piece of fresh fruit or one small piece of chocolate. Even drinking a hot beverage can be very satisfying.
Walk Around
Moving our bodies helps to lubricate our joints and circulates our blood throughout our body. Walking also gets the heart pumping and doing the job it is meant to do.
Stretch
Sometimes a nice, long stretch is all we need to feel rejuvenated. Taking time to stretch our backs, legs, neck, shoulders, etc. also helps relieve stress and tension. Go on YouTube and find a 5-10 minute yoga routine that focuses on stretching.
Listen to a favorite song (hearing)
A friend of mine said that music soothes the savage soul. I couldn’t agree more. And when we listen to a favorite song, we immediately feel good. It can be uplifting, calming, and spark good memories!
Put on some Aromatherapy (smell)
I mentioned about scents earlier. I love the smell of citrus or fresh scents. They make me happy. Aromatherapy is another way to touch our senses and can make us feel good.
Apply face or body lotion (touch)
Don’t neglect your biggest organ of your body…the skin! Treat it well. Put lotion all over, especially the face. You will feel better and look good, too!
How are you going to start taking more time for yourself and practice self-care?
Please drop a comment and share your ideas! I’d love to hear what you do to be a better version of yourself!
The definition of patient means bearingpains or trials calmly or without complaint or : steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity, as per the Merriam Webster Dictionary website.
The topic of patience has been on my mind lately. I’m not sure if it stems from what we have all been experiencing throughout 2020, or is it because of my own personal situations? All I know is that patience is a challenging attribute to achieve. It can be as simple as being patient while waiting for that perfect brew of coffee in the morning to start off my day. It can be waiting in line at the grocery store while there are 5 people ahead of me. How about sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office?
Those are just a few examples, but probably the most trying part of patience is dealing with people. I am at the point in my life where I am done with negativity and craziness around me. I have only recently learned to set boundaries to keep me away from the negatives in my life so that I learn to be more patient. I also give myself permission to “just be”. I am ok with taking my time to ease into my day and be gentle with myself when I don’t accomplish everything on my to do list. If it isn’t urgent, then it just gets added to tomorrow’s list.
It has been shown that having patience has health benefits! From reducing your stress levels to feeling more calm, having patience is one of the keys to living a good life.
What are our biggest stressors in life? Certainly our jobs, financial worries, family obligations and our health most likely top the list.
My job can be challenging. I am a caretaker. I need to be extremely patient with my client. They have special needs and demanding criteria to be met and even though I know I do a good job, I make mistakes and I can get on their nerves at times. They will lose their patience or get annoyed and I have to just listen and keep quiet and just continue doing my job. It can take a toll on me sometimes. There have been days I have left feeling upset or exhausted not just physically, but emotionally. It takes a very patient person to do what I do. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the right person.
Despite my doubts, I love what I do because I am helping another person. However, my patience has been put through the wringer and what happens is that I keep it all bottled inside and later lose my temper or become irritable later after leaving the job for the day. It’s not healthy because my family gets the short end of the stick. I am working on improving and be more intentional on to not take my emotions home with me. I have incorporated tools to help me start my day off on the right foot. Some of that is having certain rituals, like making a good cup of coffee, sitting on my deck and doing some yoga stretching. I also try to just sit and listen to the sounds around me and breathe. These little things have helped ground me and I do find that I’m not as irritable.
My afternoon routine is a bit different. Because of Covid, everyone is home…my husband, my kids. I don’t have a quiet space to just relax and unwind anymore since the self-quarantine began in March. After work, I tend to take a drive, grab something to eat, run errands if needed, but more importantly, find a place for me to just sit and decompress. Part of that does involve checking my social media, but sometimes it’s walking at a local trail, garden or just sitting in my car and listening to some tunes.
My family is sort of polar opposite of me and that can drive me a bit nuts. I am a talker, dreamer, and gal who thrives on interaction with others. They, on the other hand are quiet, reserved and keep to themselves most of the time. This environment tests my patience in a different way. Therefore, I find outlets to keep me going and try not to get upset if no one feels like talking to me. I rediscovered new hobbies and have made new friends. I don’t ever give up and continue to do what makes me happy. If I find myself losing my patience, I try some of the tips below. The key is to be mindful and intentional. As with anything, practice makes it better.
Here are tips to practicing patience:
Write down your “to-do’s” in order to have your tasks in front of you and you can mark them off as you complete them. Many get satisfaction checking off their tasks as “DONE”. Visuals help!
Reduce your expectations and be gentle with yourself. Once we let go of expectations, we don’t have anything to be disappointed about if things don’t work out how we hoped. And without that disappointment, we can then feel calmer, therefore, be more patient when life throws us those curveballs.
Start your day off by doing something good for yourself. Exercise like walking or yoga, having a coffee date with a friend, writing in a gratitude journal or just listening to your favorite music are just a few ideas that can help. They can make you feel grounded and ready to conquer the day!
Smile more. No, I’m not quoting from “Hamilton”, but smiling and laughing helps release endorphins, which in turn, reduce our stress. And if we don’t feel stress, we have the ability to have a clear mind and in turn, be more patient.
ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS! This is my mantra for life. Enjoy the little things or moments. Love nature? Go out in your yard or visit a park and stroll around, observing the colors, scents and sounds. Tuning into our senses does wonders for our soul.
So, what are some ways YOU are striving to be more patient? Please leave a comment and share! I’d love to hear from you!
Thoughts From My Crowded Mind 