If you’ve been following my blog, you may have noticed most of my posts are uplifting and hopefully inspiring to you. I try hard not to discuss negative topics or draw out unpleasant things without some message of hope.
Unfortunately today, I let all that negativity consume me. In fact, I thought I would stay in that place of hopelessness longer than it did. I was gently reminded by many people in my life that no matter what, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, that what I do is directing me in the right path and most importantly, I have God at my side. It’s really strange that all my overwhelming feelings also were showered by an abundance of love and compassion. I suppose the universe is telling me something and I need to pay attention and listen.
The morning started out pretty positive and I was enjoying the sunshine and observing the birds that were feeding on my deck. I happen to take a picture of a single cardinal and shared with a friend. He told me the meaning behind when we see a cardinal and the symbolism of that. At first, I may have come off dismissive, but as my morning progressed and it got more and more out of my control, I kept going back to that image and statement. I kept it tucked in the back of my mind, at least.
Another friend reminded me not to be so hard on myself over things that really aren’t in my direct control and to give myself, in essence, grace to feel my feels and be gentle with myself.
As my emotions continued to pour out in the morning, I kept receiving various messages that now I believe is God or the universe telling me something. A friend from church just so happened to email me an excerpt and prayer from an online site and when I read it, it completely spoke to me and everything I was feeling at that particular moment.
I spoke to my dad, who is always a source of compassion, especially when I feel hopeless.
I may have cried and felt frustrated, but one thing remained and that was my desire to let it be and allow my mind to calm down. I spent time taking deep breaths, I prayed, I watched the birds outside and I also fed my body the healthy nourishment it probably was lacking for awhile.
I share this so that others can understand that we all have bad moments, times when we feel like the world is crashing down on us. Even the most positive, uplifting people you know have their bad times. The point to remember is that it is completely okay and as long as we can get back on our feet, we can take on the day with even more strength.
I wrote something in my journal that I would like to share. This may seem like I am exposing myself to the world, but I strongly believe we not only show our strong, positive side, but share how even the best of us are vulnerable human beings.
Quicksand
I feel overwhelmed. I feel sad. I feel frustrated and angry. I feel like all the work I’ve been doing to have a better mindset has been in vain. It’s as if I am defeated and can’t get out of the corner of a boxing ring. I am disappointed I don’t follow my own advice at times like this. I try so hard to look at the good things and be grateful for what I have in my life. Yet, I can’t seem to sustain that feeling. I lose patience. I lose my composure. I fall apart. I almost feel like I am stuck in quicksand which is trying to bring me down. Yet, I am grasping onto a branch so that I don’t perish. I start to remember that I do have a lot to live for and that I am worthy of happiness and love. I CAN prevail and shove these negative feelings aside and say to them, NOT TODAY! And then, like that, I am back on my feet.
my own poetic piece, if you will, written 1/25/21
So, there you have it. life may not be filled with rainbows and cupcakes, but life is definitely sweet if we learn to overcome our thoughts and take in the moments that calm us and brings us a smile.
Thoughts From My Crowded Mind 