You know the saying, “All good things come to an end?” That phrase probably couldn’t be more true than right now with my oldest son graduating high school this week!
His high school years were a bit different than what we expected them to be given half of his years were overshadowed by the world pandemic that began in 2020. As a freshman, it was an exciting time and my son was ready to take on high school sports. He did play in the freshman basketball team during the winter season and seemed he liked it. He had been playing recreational basketball since he was in 3rd or 4th grade. His favorite sport was baseball. Unfortunately, he never had the chance to play on the freshman team because of Covid.
Fast forward to 2023. My son decided not to play on the high school basketball team, and chose not to play on the varsity baseball team, either. It seems the excitement of playing sports in high school dissipated for him and he wanted to pursue different things.
Little by little, I’ve noticed that all the things he did as a youth, he was letting go, or saying goodbye to them. Of course, he may have been completely fine with it, but for me, I was sad. I spent so many nights and weekends in all kinds of weather watching as my kid played baseball and basketball. I loved watching him and his teammates do something they enjoyed. I liked seeing the comradery among his friends on the team. I enjoyed the social time with the families.
Was this time I spent for my son or was it for me? If I must be honest, I have to say probably both. He entered high school and then the pandemic put a halt to practically everything. For his senior year he chose not do anything extracurricular; I not only was disappointed for him, but for myself. At first I would say, “…but you’re missing out! don’t you want to be part of a team? don’t you want to participate in activities with friends?” The answer was no. He was fine with his choices and I needed to be fine with it too.
My son has grown up. He’s making his own decisions and establishing his own path, at his own pace. In all practical purposes, he should! He is 18 and ready to move on to the next stage of life. Goodbye high school…hello world! He has decided to go to college after high school graduation, so that is a big step! Luckily, he won’t be far…but far enough that he won’t be coming home to eat dinner and play video games to his heart’s content.
This is not only a big change for my son, but it is certainly a big change for me. I’m used to how things are and I am happy to know both my children live home and, for the most part, I know where they are, what they may be doing and most importantly, are sleeping in their bed here at home. There is a comfort in knowing your children are near by and safe.
I’ve spent the last 19 years of my life nurturing and caring for my boy… teaching him, guiding him, and encouraging him to try new things. If you’re a mom reading this, you know how much we put in…not only our physical time and effort, but our emotional selves, too. And that’s the part that is most challenging.
Our hearts and souls are poured into our children with the hopes they grow up to be happy and healthy individuals. And right now, all that work will be tested as my son embarks onto the new adventure of his life. All I can do is pray and hope I did what I could and that all those lessons over the years will resonate with him.
When move-in day happens in about 2 1/2 months from now, I think the reality will hit me that my kid, my first-born son, will not be home that night, but living with a roommate at college. Until then, I will relish the time this summer to enjoy the little moments, which tend to be fewer than before. He is older, has a social life and doesn’t necessarily want to hang out with his mother. That’s ok. Even if he sits down with me to talk about the latest workout regime he’s doing, I will listen intently as if he is giving a lecture in front of an audience. It will be those small moments that I will remember later…that will make me feel satisfied that I did my best and that it’s ok to say goodbye to my little boy and welcome the young man he is today.
Yes, good things do end, but good things also begin, too. Life is cyclical. Life is ever changing and evolving. New adventures await us all. Even though some of the best years of my life are ending with my son grown up, there is something else to look forward to, as well. The future isn’t set! It is actually an exciting time for my son and all his friends right now. I need to put aside my emotions for a moment and see the future in his eyes. And when I do that, I am astonished beyond words of how proud I feel to see what’s in store for him next. And that certainly brings some comfort and makes me smile.
Thoughts From My Crowded Mind 